Sparks Prize Deconstructed

I've broken down the sparks prize enough to know that it:

1. Does not necessarily decide which writer is the most talented

2. Does not which writer necessarily works the hardest (though I think I'm undoubtedly one of the hardest working writers in our program, that much I will say)

So, i shouldn't trip if i don't get it, which is a very definite possibility

It's a prize that's based on the judge's perception of which manuscript is the most publishable, and as we all know, a lot of complete shit gets published, and a lot of amazing writing gets rejected continuously, and then, sometimes, good writing slips through the cracks too, and then, on top of everything, even if i don't win the sparks prize, i still think i'll get my book published in the next couple of years, and i've already been published. so there.

It's just that the sparks prize is 20k with NO COMITTMENT EXCEPT ONE PUBLIC READING.

All things considered, i guess winning the sparks prize would really be the perfect way to end my MFA and spend time in Chicago again with my brother, friends and family and i know i'd work really hard and write all the fucking time to honor that prize and the privilege of having a year to develop my career, but those are rational reasons, and rationalism doesn't trump subjectivity or art, and honestly, it's not supposed to. i really loved interpreter of maladies, but do i think it was the best book in 2003? god no, absolutely not the best, but certainly one of the best books that year. and ditto with salman rushdie and the nobel prize in literature. just cuz he deserves it doesn't mean he's going to win it. and thought these might be lofty self-juxtapositions, i find comfort in them.

I guess i have to for now since next month is judgment day, and, ultimately, i have to accept the fact that even if i think i'm one of the most talented fiction writers in this program, and one of the hardest working ones too, that doesn't mean shit for this award. the beauty and the brutality of the sparks prize is that it's given completely out of context, which means the best writer could win it, or just as easily, the biggest poser of all time could win it too. in 30 pages, you can fake almost anything.

Okay. End of sparks prize lamentation