Why I Won't Submit to Identity Theory Anymore

Not right for us, sorry -- but thanks for thinking of us, and apologies for the delayed response, James Warner

I waited almost 8 months for this? You've got to be joking.

My problem with Identity Theory, even though I think it's a good journal, is that:

1. It always takes them 7-12 months before I hear from the fiction department, and only after I send them an email pestering them, which means they're not making a habit of responding to submissions, which is absolutely lame

2. The stories I read in their magazine are never better than the ones I submit, just different. Often, they seem to value hipness over literary merit

3. Really, I could forgive all the above two points if James Warner had just written my name in the email. My name is not not right for us

So, as Howard Junker says in his rejection letters, onward!