Nicole Aragi is a Virtual Conspiracy

There are a lot of incredible literary agents out there, and none of them have a more incredible client list than Nicole Aragi. For those of you that don't know her opus--and it is an opus--let me count the ways this former bookstore owner has changed the literary landscape for the better. Here are her clients:

Rabih Alameddine, Monica Ali, Andrea Ashworth, Dennis Bock, Charles Burns, Pang-Mei Chang, Dan Clowes, Edwidge Danticat, Alain de Botton, Junot Díaz, Nathan Englander, Nuruddin Farah, Jonathan Safran Foer, David Francis, Maureen Gibbon, Paul Griner, Daniel Hecht, Aleksandar Hemon, Mia Kirshner, lê thi diem thúy, Amin Maalouf, David Masiel, Jane McCafferty, Tova Mirvis, Julie Otsuka, Victor Pelevin, Scott Phillips, Michael Rips, Joe Sacco, June Spence, Manil Suri, Hannah Tinti, Brady Udall, Chris Ware and Colson Whitehead.

Yo, wait a second: do you read that? Junot Diaz? Edwidge Danticat? Hannah Tinti? Alexsandar Hermon? Jonathan Safran Foer? Colson Whitehead? Seriously? Nicole Aragi is so good she's virtually a conspiracy.

Anyway, about once every year, I send Nicole Aragi's assistant a query letter, sort of like sending out Christmas cards for the holidays. It's sort of an annual tradition of mine. This time, maybe because my query letter sounded so fucking desperate (but honest, I have to say), Nicole Aragi's assistant was kind enough to write back. Here's what she wrote, a completely legit reply. After doing some research, it turns out that a million aspiring writers have received the same response before. So, I'm not special, but at least Nicole Aragi's assistant was courteous, punctual and honest. I can live with that. For now, anyway. . .

Here's what she wrote:

Dear Jackson,

Thank you for your interest in our agency. Sadly, however, Nicole Aragi has a full client list and is not taking on new work at the moment.

We wish you the best of luck in securing another agent


L. S.

And my reply:

Dear L.S.,

Thanks for responding so quickly. I appreciate that.

Okay, no problem. I understand. If and when Nicole does decide to take on new work later on, I hope you'll keep my query letter on file, just in case.

Enjoy June in The City.

Peace, Blessings,