Round, Dark, and Handsome
The asteroid was slightly smaller than the size of Mercury, but in the papers it seemed enormous, like a Death Star in motion. Because it looked like a man’s profile and was dark, jagged, and rough around the edges, it was called Bad Boy by sarcastic apocalypse skeptics. Later on, all the News Injections and electronic journals available in EMOS v-subscriptions picked it up because the imminent destruction of planet earth was a lightning rod for page views as readers received hourly updates on Bad Boy’s trajectory. As demented as it sounded, annihilation was good for the economy (which is how Firsters justified almost everything that was heinous, shameful, and morally repugnant in their worlds).